


TWO BOYS FIND A VERY SPECIAL VIDEO - YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

by deletable_bird



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Drabble, Humor, Humorous Ending, Inappropriate Humor, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Non-Graphic Smut, Porn, Porn Video, Porn Watching, Sexual Humor, Smut, Smutlet, kind of idk - Freeform, wtf even is that tag wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:06:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deletable_bird/pseuds/deletable_bird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <a href="http://deletablebird.tumblr.com/d">
    <em>disclaimer</em>
  </a>
</p>
    </blockquote>





	TWO BOYS FIND A VERY SPECIAL VIDEO - YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

**Author's Note:**

> [ _disclaimer_ ](http://deletablebird.tumblr.com/d)

“What are you looking at?”

Phil sinks onto the sofa, chin nearly resting on Dan’s shoulder, unabashedly snooping on the MacBook resting on his lap.

“Porn,” Dan replies, closing the xnxx tab he has open and returning to the nearly one-of-a-kind tumblr devoted entirely to collecting videos of pornstars that apparently look enough like Dan and Phil to sate the unquenchable thirst of the fangirls.

Phil coughs slightly. Dan meets his eyes, raising an eyebrow, and Phil returns the gesture with an added touch of incredulity.

“Am I really so unsatisfactory in bed that you’re resorting to - ” he squints at the url that Dan’s mouse is hovering over “ - emo-boy-porn dot com for satisfaction?” He reaches over and clicks the link, deftly navigating the minor minefield of clickbait viruses that traditionally precede the video.

“This is all simply for the sake of science, Phil,” Dan replies, smirking at Phil’s adroitness at handling mildly sketchy porn sites and leans back, nestling into him as the film starts to play. Two boys, one fully clothed and one having apparently already shed his shirt, are tangled together on a bed with an eye-scorchingly tacky skull/crossbones pop art print. The headboard at least mildly resembles Dan’s own, simple and black with an adornment of fairy lights.

“Wait, which one is which again?” Phil interrupts just as the shirtless dude pulls the other closer, unceremoniously groping his arse.

“I think you’re the one feeling me up right now,” Dan answers, just as hypothetical shirtless Phil starts kissing not-quite-Dan’s neck.

“Shit,” he adds, unable to look away from the way faux-him is seemingly torn between pushing fake-Phil away or pulling him closer. “I thought this was gonna be terrible.”

“You do that thing, you know,” Phil comments, turning in to press a kiss to Dan’s temple. “When I’m kissing your neck.”

“Do what?” Dan asks, distracted. Porn-Phil is now paying indecent amounts of attention to porn-Dan’s nipples. Porn-Dan is gasping obscenely.

“Lift your chin up really high and act like you don’t know where to put your hands,” Phil murmurs in his ear, voice gone dark and raspy. He presses an open-mouthed kiss to the side of Dan’s neck, and Dan drops his shoulders, exposing as much of his throat to Phil as he can and gripping his knee so hard his knuckles go white.

His jaw falls involuntarily open. This situation has taken an abrupt turn to the more “late-afternoon-I’m bored let’s fuck” sex on the couch route, and Dan is not complaining.

“Fake-me’s tattoos are terrible too,” Phil sighs against Dan’s jawline, melodramatic and woebegone. “What kind of skater emo trash do our fans think I am, Dan?”

“Don’t fucking _stop_ ,” Dan gasps out, reaching back with one hand to pull Phil’s mouth back down to his neck. Every brush of lips against skin is sending chills down his spine. Phil obliges for about zero point five seconds before popping back up again to declare “And I hate dry humping!”

Dan turns, stopping Phil’s mouth with his own. “You’ve never exactly told all your fans exactly what you’re like in bed,” he says against Phil’s lips, his voice gone irrevocably breathy. “And they’re just rabid teenage girls, they’ve got to entertain themselves somehow.”

“You’re taking my pants off,” Phil says, still watching the video over Dan’s shoulder. “And now - oh wow, shit.”

Dan pulls away to glance over his shoulder at the laptop and sucks in a breath; onscreen, he’s got Phil’s dick out and in his mouth, and faux-Phil has his mouth open and he’s panting and _fuck_ he’s got snakebites.

“You should get your lip pierced,” Phil growls, mouthing a series of fresh kisses along the exposed side of Dan’s neck. Embarrassingly enough, that simple unexpected touch sends a bolt of arousal straight to the heat pooling in the pit of Dan’s stomach, taking his current predicament way past a semi.

“Only if you get inked up at the same time,” Dan answers, pushing Phil down onto the couch and scooting himself down until he can get at Phil’s belt buckle. “Now shut up and let me reenact this video in peace.”

**Author's Note:**

> did u like the title did u like the title come on i know u liked the title


End file.
